REVOLUTION

I received an interesting Facebook message this week. The author of the message was reaching out to me, I believe, because he/she was or is concerned about me. This individual wanted to know if I was "OK".
Initially, I found humor in the question based off the character of the enquirer.I even giggled out loud. Once I allowed the irony to subside I found myself reflecting on the question: what it means to be "OK", the fact they felt concerned enough to ask, etc.

To answer the question, I am better than OK. I am awake. I feel connected to the world around me in a way that I always knew was possible but was never ready to accept as possible for me. I am sure this apparent "change" in my life approach has become obvious to both those close to me and those acquainted with me. For those who love me and who have always seen what I am now becoming (or what I am capable of being), this change is welcomed. I think it is only concerning for those who are not ready for me to grow, to evolve. Not because of how this change effects me, but because how it effects them. I think popular culture or Hip Hop culture refer to this as "haters gonna hate". Yeah... something like that, just a little deeper.

The reality is this change is not new, it has been building inside of me for years (below is a poem that I wrote in 2010 - it woke me from my sleep, literally). It was the fear that comes with self growth that has held me back, the burden of responsibility stopped me from shedding layers of dead skin and revealing what was lay beneath. Being "Chameleon like" is easy. Taking on this identity allows you to live like an agnostic who never professes anything, just instigating that all things could be or could not be. The reality  is rolling in and out of beliefs is draining.

In contrast, "Being" is liberating.

Revolution

I am seeking a revolution

But not of the physical world

One that will start in my mind

Expand past time and space

Logic will not be able to confine

Or limit the amount of growth that is due

It is overdue

Like a library book that was checked out

But never returned or read

Its contents were too intense for a feeble mind to comprehend

And I knew it

Soon as began scanning those first few sentences

Found myself overwhelmed

Frightened by words

Pieced together so perfectly

They spoke to me

They spoke at me

They screamed my name

So they were bound

Stored away

Not returned to the shelf where I found them

But stored alone

Like me

Those words possessed power

They locked themselves into my memory banks

Where they transformed into matter

Because thoughts do become things

I always considered myself lucky

Never admitting it was me

Because with admittance comes responsibility

The burden of awareness was all I could see

When I needed it

It was there

Fear of greatness

Leads to mediocracy

A place where I govern myself free of expectation

A place where the mean rule supreme

Where average is the only language the locals speak

But so-so was a concept I could never quit grasp

 It was unnatural and awkward

It made me anxious inside my own skin

So I shed it

I bled myself out

Replacing blood that was devoid of life with oxygen rich plasma

Full of energy

That runs to the tips of these hands

Hands that clinch into fist

Pumping into the air

Trembling with an impulse to create

No longer bound by self inflicted cuffs

That serves as bracelets

That defines limitations as

“One’s inability to accomplish said mentioned things” i.e. greatness

Open myself up to becoming prodigious

No longer resist

Entertain all ideas…

You see

I find myself seeking a revolution

But not one of the physical world.